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How much for an iPhone 5?
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I put this together to compare the cost of buying an iPhone 5 on contract with the major UK networks with the cost of getting an unlocked iPhone 5 from Apple and adding an equivalent SIM-only pay monthly service. (Note, I didn't look at Pay As You Go, but 12 month contract SIM-only deals which seem to be the best value. Most of these are quoting special 12 month discounts, but as you can shop around for a new one after 12 months, I went ahead and assumed you could get the same price for a second year - you can always go somewhere else with an unlocked phone!)

The cost made me go "ouch"

Somewhere in my head I've convinced myself UK mobile phones are free (at least most are on contract) and that the monthly contract price is just something I'd need to pay anyway. Multiplying it all out over 24 months was the only way to compare plans fairly, and it comes to a lot.

There's no such thing as a free phone

And certainly not a free iPhone 5 - the premiums you pay for getting the iPhone 5 free upfront are eye watering. The way to pay the most money with each network is to get the cheapest upfront phone at the highest monthly rate. It's a bit odd, because it looks like the networks are punishing their best customers. You could look at it like a loan which you're paying interest on, and that interest looks really high if you're determined to get a "free" phone. The more you can pay upfront, the more you save.

Some of the best deals are on contract

This is sensible - networks should give you an incentive to stay with them for 24 months, and that usually comes in the form of a subsidy for your phone. However, the iPhone 5 - like previous iPhones - never works out much cheaper with a contract, only for a few plans with a high upfront cost and low monthly cost.

Cheaper plans are actually good now

It used to be that UK networks would give customers the extra incentive to spend more each month by bundling better service with higher priced plans. But O2 offers the exact same package at every price point - unlimited calls and texts + 1GB data. The extra per month just gets you a discount on the upfront price of the phone and, as you can see from the charts, O2 makes more from you the bigger discount you want. However, it is still cheaper to go on O2's £26, £31 or £36 a month plan than to buy any of the iPhone 5 models outright and buy the equivalent SIM-only plan. It's similar for other networks too.

If you want to save money, get a restricted plan

This year's contract plans come with lots more minutes than they used to. "Unlimited" is the buzz word. Personally I think I talk less and use data more than I used to. I'm guessing the networks have gambled that giving away what looks like a massively valuable bundle of minutes isn't really going to cost them much, because people won't use many of them.

The new value squeeze is data, and this differentiates Orange's plans - you can get up to 3GB a month for £46 or "unlimited" data for £51 a month.

The biggest cost savings come from plans with limited amounts of data and minutes. (Texts are just about given away everywhere now.) If you can live with 500 minutes a month, 3 offer the cheapest ways to get the iPhone 5 on contract with a fairly small upfront fee, and there's unlimited data there too.

Alternatively, buying an unlocked phone from Apple and a SIM-only plan resticted to, say, 600 minutes + 500 MB data will save money if you can afford the upfront cost. The more restrictions you can take, the bigger the savings. I've put a couple of reasonable examples onto the charts, but there are more available.

So what are the best deals?

Now, I'm going to assume that someone who wants the iPhone 5 is going to use it, so the REALLY cheap plans with 100 minutes and 100 MB of data won't do (they're for your gran), but those aside, here I what I reckon are the best UK deals available. (For info only, don't sue me if I've made a mistake, terms and conditions apply, etc etc)

Cheapest if you want to buy an unlocked phone first

T-Mobile if you don't mind 300 minutes + 750 MB data a month, because they have special offers on SIM-only plans right now. This looks like the cheapest way to get an iPhone 5 with a reasonable data plan (total cost £841 for a 16 GB phone and 24 months' service), and you can get cheaper still if you can fit within 250 MB data a month.

If you prefer more minutes (600) and less data (500 MB), O2 and Orange have the best prices. If you'd like unlimited minutes and 1 GB data on the same sort of deal, O2 beats T-Mobile by £1 a month, again based on current special offers, but you would get a better deal on contract if you're happy to pay a substantial upfront contribution towards the cost of the phone.

Cheapest contract deals locked to a phone operator for 24 months

O2 24-month contract, £26 a month with unlimited calls and texts + 1GB data, costs £250 upfront, total £874 for the 16 GB phone over 24 months. Similarly good deals on the 32 GB and 64 GB models, but they get narrowly beaten here by...

3 24-month contract - for the 32 GB phone it's £37 a month with unlimited data, 5000 texts + 500 call minutes, costs £89 upfront (total £977). For the 64 GB model it's £40 a month for the same package, £109 upfront (total £1069). These are easily the best deals for that fairly low initial cost, and close to the best overall (it's only a bit cheaper to buy the phone outright then get the T-Mobile deal above.) And for £2 extra a month you can go from 500 to 2000 minutes, which is nice.

More deals are available from the service resellers such as Virgin Mobile, Tesco and Giffgaff, I know, and these things change quite often. If you spot a bargain, please post a comment about it.

And don't get me started on 4G... if you want to get the highest roaming data speeds possible, you'll need a plan which hasn't been launched yet from EE and as they are the company which now owns Orange and T-Mobile in the UK, you'll need to sign up with one of them if you want an iPhone 5 at launch.

Personally...

I've decided it's doing my head in and I'm going to stick with my iPhone 4 for a while at least. I use docks for sound and video which won't work with the new phone's chunky "Lightning" adapter, so I've switched to the £20 a month On & On deal on O2. This means I'm tied to O2 for a year but can move to a phone upgrade contract after 6 months if I like. By that stage, 4G will be more mature, available and useful (hopefully with competition to keep the price down), new docks will be available and affordable, and we'll probably be getting excited about the iPhone 6 (or iPhone 5S perhaps) so I'll procrastinate until then.

kthanksbai.

 
Spiderman - in how many dimensions?
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The_amazing_spider-man_theatrical_poster

"The Amazing Spider-Man" is pretty good. Just not quite amazing, at least my wife and I both thought so, and it's hard to say why. I loved the action, and the cast were very watchable, but a great film is all about the story and characters. 

The story's not so different from the 2002 Tobey Maguire version. It's the old frustrated boy meets mutant spider routine with the girl, family and supervillain thrown in. The rest is SPOILERS so stop reading if you're determined to avoid them...

 

 

 

(interval)

 

 

 

(let's all go to the lobby!)

 

 

 

(popcorn and drinks are HOW MUCH?!)

 

 

 

(have I got time to get to Tesco Metro?)

 

 

 

(...and we're back)

 

 

 

Quite a lot of The Amazing Spider-Man is really good. The big character development at the start of a Spidey reboot is obviously going to be Peter Parker, clumsy loner teen, transforming into your friendly neighbourhood hero. "How is that going to work?" is the big question. 

Like every fantasy film, the answer has to swing (in this case, literally) between being believable and entertaining-enough-to-suspend-our-disbelief. The 3D effects, the excitement of the chases (physical and emotional) and the zippy dialogue all help on the entertainment front. But a gravity-defying stunt is only gripping if we also believe gravity is still at work. What enables Spiderman to swing most entertainingly is the web which attaches to something solid. In other words, something in the world has to be believable for the character swinging against it to look amazing.

Physics and science will always get stretched beyond belief in a superhero story, so the solid believability - and the attachment to us and why we should care - have to come from emotional connections. Yes it's Marvel, and everything is larger than life, but believable life has to come into it somewhere, most importantly for the central characters you want to care about.

One way to measure the emotional potential of a character in a story is to look at how many dimensions it has. Directions are often given vaguely to actors about adding dimensions to their character or avoiding a "flat" performance, but the person who I think has best defined "dimensions" in character is screenwriting guru Robert McKee. In "Story" he writes, "Dimension means contradiction: either within deep character (guilt-ridden ambition) or between characterisation and deep character (a charming thief)... Dimensions fascinate; contradictions in nature or behaviour rivet the audience's concentration."

Spiderman's central character, Peter Parker, has the most contradictions or character dimensions, and exhibits lots of things we can relate to from adolescence:

  • he's physically awkward around others but slick when he applies himself
  • he wants to avoid trouble but is also driven to change the world
  • he is secretive but also craves emotional openness
  • his life is shaped by the pain of lost love (parents, uncle), but he deeply wants to love

Each of these contradictions is like a string, and Spiderman is a great story when it pulls them taut, making Peter Parker come to life by giving him believable, relatable and seemingly impossible situations to resolve. As each dimension of his character is activated and animated by story situations and other characters, Peter Parker grows and becomes a more believable and emotionally compelling hero:

  • Flash brings out Peter Parker's awkwardness, but also motivates him to change and apply himself
  • Aunt May brings Peter up to be sensible, but also sets his ambition and self-belief high, enabling him to grow
  • Gwen Stacy is someone Peter can't express his feelings for, but draws them out and motivates Peter to change and grow
  • Uncle Ben's life is a steadying influence on Peter, but his death and Peter's guilt over appearing to cause it trigger the biggest character transformation in Peter (yes, the spider does something too, but the spider has no character attributes other than being an annoying spider...)

When all of these situations are played out believably and entertainingly, Peter can grow into a strong character. But then what do you do with him? What's going to make this a film?

Most Hollywood stories have a simple, crowd pleasing structure. A central character has their world knocked out of balance by a problem, and they transform and grow as they make various increasingly costly efforts to resolve that problem. Eventually, at the ultimate risk of everything they have and everything they are, they restore balance, becoming someone we want to identify with, overcoming the problems we've related to and carrying us with them into a better life. 

The big problem with Spiderman, like any hero destined for multiple adventures, is that we need each film (or comic) to resolve but the story to continue. So Peter Parker can't fix all his problems in two hours. That's fine, and believable, but he has to have something which can be resolved, something challenging but which he can overcome with enough certainty for us to leave the cinema after two hours with the satisfaction of a job well done.

Enter the supervillain. This turns the hero into a superhero, not just capable but indispensible, because only they can overcome the supervillain, and only at great risk and cost.

Now here's the thing. Comics get through LOTS of supervillains, because they need to publish new editions at least every month, and that means some supervillains are better than others. What's better? The bad ones are simply annoyances. We don't care about them, we just want them to go away. The good ones we enjoy, but we know need to be defeated. The great ones, the very best, have to create contradictions in us - we really want to see more of them, but we also want them to get busted. And then hopefully come back, somehow. 

And this is the big test for a superhero film. How good is the supervillain? How much do we care about them? Or to put it another way, how many dimensions of character do they have?

This is the biggest difference between "Spiderman" (2002) and "The Amazing Spider-Man" (2012).

2002 supervillain: The Green Goblin

  • loving family man, but also attracted by and addicted to work
  • clever scientist, but also stupidly reckless when his funding is threatened
  • inventive and creative, but also highly secretive (lots of government work + has ultimate fantasy "don't go in there" closet at home)
  • wants to do the right thing, but is overcome by the conflicting desires of his darker self (and there's some green serum stuff but, like the spider, that's just a trigger, not a character)
  • OVERALL, he's a mirror and a counterpart to Peter Parker, the dark side kids fear in a father, just as relatable as Peter with as many character dimensions. I remember watching and thinking "noooo!!!" as his character took shape. And then there's the genius touch of his son being Peter's best friend and the pivotal character to take the story forwards.

2012 supervillain: The Lizard

  • some semi-nice guy who works in a lab but turns nasty (there's a serum which brings out stuff which hadn't been there at all in his character before)
  • sort of has some half developed, half believable relationships which I didn't really care about him losing
  • err...
  • file under "annoying, go away"
  • OVERALL, meh. I don't care. And that is a big problem for a film when the resolution is beating a stupid mutant lizard I don't give a stuff about.

Now Gwen Stacy's dad, Captain George, was a genius touch and a much stronger character. The dinner scene is one of the best in the story as it rips open the whole rich vein of "is Spiderman good or bad?"/"is a teenager going out with your daughter at all acceptable?" The Captain even got a line about the stupidity of a Lizard man running around town as if this was Godzilla. But then he found out Spiderman's identity, and we knew he had to die.

Ultimately, I think there's a lot to like about "The Amazing Spider-Man", especially how it all looks. But the weakness of a key character and the slow pace of development of others made it plod in some places where it should have been swinging. However, I've got high hopes for the sequel, because it could be the start of the real action. The basics are laid down, and we've yet to meet the mysterious owner of OsCorp, which means some green goblinness might await. Plus there's the overhanging mystery of Peter's parents and what dad was really up to.

How good that turns out will depend on whether the next set of characters has at least as many dimensions as the special effects.

 
The difference between pop singers and artists
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Pop singers sing what's popular. Artists redefine what's popular.

Pop singers imitate. Artists originate.

Pop singers need to be consistently good. Artists must be, at least occasionally, brilliant. Performance may vary.

People enjoy pop singers who meet expectations. People love artists who blow expectations apart.

It's enough for a pop singer to do something you enjoyed another pop singer doing. An artist has to do something you believe only they could do. That is what defines them.

The best pop singers are also artists, but let's be clear on the difference and tension between these two things: seeking popularity and originality won't push you in one clear direction, it will more likely pull you apart. That's why the great pop artists are always so difficult and interesting, and all but the strongest stop before long.

 
Help! I like and loathe this record at the same time and I am confused
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I don't LOVE the Cher Lloyd debut single, but I do like it and it is stuck in my head. At least the chorus is, the verse is mostly forgettable and the song as a whole is so annoying that I want to shout at myself every time my brain wants to hum the chorus again, which it does a lot. It's a recipe for madness.

The weirdest thing is that none of this should be a surprise. "Swagger Jagger" sounds EXACTLY like you would expect Simon Cowell making an "urban" record would sound like. It pulls off the tricky task of sounding right for Cher but at the same time useable for any number of Simon Cowell's past acts (I'm thinking Zig and Zag or Wrestlemania rather than Westlife).

It's a lot more "Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" than the "Hard Knock Life" it's aiming for, and it makes me wonder if the Simco team actually get anything which isn't pop. What odds can I get on the next single being a cover of "Slap My Elbow", cos S.mouse is really big with the kids right now, right?

Despite all the musical nonsense, Cher herself actually comes over really well in interviews, although it's obvious that she's got very little control over what's happening around her. It annoys me because I think she's actually quite good, and has great musical ears - she did introduce the nation to a Mike Posner megahit. She needs to get on top of things and set the direction, otherwise they might as well forget trying to make her credible and give her a decent ytcracker song to cover instead.

 
A church without mission is like a car without wheels - Amateur Theology
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It can still have nice comfy seats and music, and be a good place for people to meet. It'll have the advantage that people always know where it is!

It will have an engine which may seem a bit pointless. The car will rarely need to be filled up with fuel - so rarely that people may argue over whether being filled up is something which only needed to happen once or needs to be done on a regular basis. People probably won't remember the last time you needed a refill unless you're running the lights, music and windscreen wipers an awful lot.

Come to think of it, there is probably quite a lot to do to keep a car without wheels ticking over and safe from people who might want to nick your stuff out of it. It could take up all the time we can spare to keep it clean, stocked with biscuits and coffee and attractive to people we'd like to try sitting in it. Funnily enough, despite all the efforts to attract visitors, they seem strangely reluctant to get in, however. Maybe it looks a bit weird to them. Maybe we need to educate people in how it all works.

Most of what a car is only makes sense when we understand its job is to make the wheels turn. Sure, there is a bit extra to keep the occupants safe and comfortable, but you don't buy a car because you want a place to sit. You get into a car because there is somewhere you need to go. Jesus sent us on mission. We need to get going.

Looking at my own life and our time together in church groups, I wonder how much we really get this, and how much we're content to idle in the car park with the music on.

We are putting a new programme together for church interns (and we may want to change that name to make it less "internal") to get us rolling and learn, from the experience of moving on mission with Jesus, what all the vital bits do. I think the experience of ongoing missional practice will change our view of what the vital things actually are. Quality of the seats and stereo looks paramount if the car never moves, but we'll become more concerned with whether we are being refilled with fuel and water, whether there is rust, dirt or other impurity blocking the smooth movement of the engine, and whether our structure can carry us where we need to go, not just shelter us from occasional rain.

At the risk of pushing this analogy to breaking point, I wonder if we actually think of mission as a car's wheels - totally essential to what it is? Or do we think it's more like the satnav - a useful extra which we want to get when we can afford it and have got our plans together? It strikes me that Jesus spent a long time navigating with his disciples, showing them bits of the road ahead but knowing they wouldn't understand until they got there. On the other hand, every follower of Jesus has to start by following, moving, changing, and the good news is that God makes this possible.

Thinking about the road ahead this year...

 
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